Leaders are always criticized. If you are in a position where you are responsible to lead, there are critics who will share with you many things about your leadership that they disagree with. This is part of leadership. Unfortunately, there is no circumstance that comes to mind where leaders are not criticized. Another way of saying this is to say, “You will never please all of the people all of the time.”
Public figures tend to elicit more criticism than others do. Public figures, whether the President of the United States, a public figure responsible for a large company or corporation, or even someone like me (a pastor), draw criticism.
In a ministry leadership role like that of pastor, criticism is both useful…and a major source of distraction and discouragement. Many times, I catch myself listening to the critics more than the cheerleaders. Someone this week sent me a “love note” (unsigned of course) about an experience he or she had at church. He arrived at church late and discovered that our exterior door on the rear of the property was locked. They apparently made it into the building, probably by the front door, because the love note was included in the stack of Connection Cards we collect following the worship service. In the midst of voicing his frustration, several implications were made. First, he implied that a mistake must have been made since he was locked out. Second, he implied that if this were not a mistake, then we (the church leadership) were presenting an unwelcoming image of Christ, our church, and God by locking people out. Finally, he charged us (the leadership) with being hurtful to him personally by making him feel as though he was “not welcome.”
The implications, more than the note, were somewhat “hurtful” and caused me to dwell on them for a couple of days. Then, I was reminded of a note given to me by an older and more seasoned pastor that put things in perspective. Rather than dwell on the criticism itself, I thought I would take a couple of minutes to speak of criticism principles and offer some guidelines to make criticism more reflective of Christ.
For those receiving criticism, the following principles should serve as a guide:
- Assume there is a logical basis for the criticism. Assume that the person is sincere in his/her criticism and is basing it on a set of facts that he/she believes to be true. To understand the criticism (and to evaluate it) it is incumbent on us to understand what these deeply held beliefs, convictions, or cultural biases are.
- Create a culture that encourages “positive”/ constructive criticism. Every healthy organization need a feedback process and every good leader must know that he does not know everything…so feedback is good, healthy, and valuable.
- Seek out criticism in advance. If you have trusted counselors around you, ask them to “punch holes” in your idea beforehand. Then, present the answers to the criticism on the front –end, when you initially “pitch” the vision or idea. Criticism can be avoided and critics won over if you answer their “logical concerns” before they become concerns.
- Admit when you are wrong. Every incident of criticism should be an opportunity to evaluate your position. Perhaps you are wrong, and if so, you have an incredible opportunity to admit it and MODEL a biblical response to criticism.
- Do not take everything personally. Sometimes criticism is directed toward an outcome or a decision and is irrespective of the leader making the decision.
- Do not retaliate. Critics are not enemies. Simply being critical or holding an alternate opinion does not make a person a candidate for the 10 most wanted list.
- Do not seek to answer all criticism. Sometimes when you try to “prove” the criticism is wrong, you create a “martyr” of the critic. Other times, you cause the critic to “dig in his heels” on a matter that otherwise would have died out. Sometimes, it is just better to thank a person for sharing their viewpoint and then march forward. Further, there are times when a person’s opinion is clearly the minority. Let the criticism roll off or limit how much of it you will accept before stopping the critic.
These are good principles to guide a leader who is receiving criticism or will be receiving criticism…by nature of his position.
One other set of principles ought to guide the conversation…this time for the critic. If the goal of the criticism is evoke change or elicit a response, it is good to bear in mind certain principles that make the criticism more valid and the one critiqued…more receptive.
- Start by giving the benefit of the doubt. Assume that the decision, vision, or direction was thought through before being presented to you. It may be the first you have heard of a decision, but it is not likely the first time it was considered by the leader.
- Assume that there are facts that you do not yet know. Perhaps the leader is functioning according to a perspective that is more broad than your own. Precede your criticism with a fact-finding endeavor and seek to understand why a particular decision needed to be made…at least from the leader’s perspective.
- Do not assume that the leader is functioning in a self-serving manner. This is related to the first principle. In every organization, it is possible that a leader might be corrupt or may be trying to meet his own needs. It also may be true that he is making decisions consistent with a greater need and this time…it is not as beneficial to you.
- Do not take every decision personally. While we are all affected on a personal level by decisions, this does not mean that the decision was made with you “personally” in mind or to cause you “personal” anxiety.
- Seek to help, not just to be heard. It is a good rule of thumb to consider alternatives to decisions and be willing to suggest them when offering criticism. It is one thing to complain about a matter; however, it is another thing altogether to offer criticism and alternatives.
- Do not make the leader’s response a “litmus test” of friendship or value. No one but the leader has to give an account for the decision made. Sometimes decisions are made for reasons that you may not agree with. If the leader does not take your suggestion (even if it is a great one and better than his plan) do not assume he hates you and thinks you are incompetent. (Also, do not accuse him of being arrogant because he does not take your suggestion.)
- Take your criticism directly to the person responsible. To carry criticism to twenty people who cannot do anything about it is not criticism, it is gossip and it is very destructive in the life of an organization.
- Confine your criticism to the issue at hand. It is never a good idea to begin bringing up historical incidents or other opinions that are extraneous to the issue at hand. If you disagree with a decision, critique that decision, not the 20 other decision that you or someone else has disagreed with over the course of years.
- Be willing to yield. Most people do not desire or are not called to be the leader. If there is more than one way to get to a destination, be willing to try it a way different from your preference. Perhaps it will work out as well or better. Perhaps it will be a learning experience for the leader. Either way, the leader will appreciate your willingness to try to make the direction work, especially if he knows it was not your idea to begin with.
There are probably many more principles that could inform us and guide the conversation, but hopefully these will serve as “food for thought” as you consider what it is to critique and be criticized in the future.
By the way, I guess it is only fair to share why the door was locked. Within a short time after the start of a worship service, all of the exterior entrances are locked except the main entrance. This is a security precaution and allows the security team to monitor activity on campus. This provides for a safer environment for the children (who meet near the rear entrance) since there is no concern of “bad guys” coming in from that direction. The decision reflects a policy that has been in place long before this pastor came to the church and reflects the best wisdom of several men who are responsible for insuring a safe environment for people to worship. It was never intended to be unwelcoming; however, I am sorry that the action was interpreted that way by whoever was affected. I wish this person had simply asked so that this could be explained. Perhaps they would have not felt unwelcomed as they were.
Comments, thoughts, and constructive criticism are always welcomed….
Grace,
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